It's Life Jim
by Lichfield Girl
Summary: What if you never come back? What if we never see you again?


A bit GSR, A bit angsty Sara, a bit Brass and Sara friendship... 

Disclaimer- I own nothing

Now being a man in my position has its advantages, nice car, decent pay check, big respect and the badge helps me to skip the queue at the taxi rank.

But the favour that I asked my friend over at the San Fran PD, wasn't about helping me, more about helping an entomologist friend of mine.

My good friend tracked down Sara, gave me the address to the cottage she was renting in some place called Tomales Bay, and I found myself on the next plane out of McCarren.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not usually the sort of guy that would go chasing some girl halfway across the country, especially when the girl wasn't even mine.

But Sara's special ya know, I love her like a daughter, hell she pretty much is my daughter. And Grissom, well he's a mess without her. So I figured I'd play Cupid and try get her to back, at to least talk to him.

So late one Sunday afternoon I found myself driving by the ocean, and yeah I was feeling pretty pleased with myself. Cupid Brass to the rescue or something.  
Anyway I reach the cottage, knock on the door and wait,

and wait...

and wait...

Now I was thinking Jeez did I just fly all the way from Vegas for Sara to be out grocery shopping? Just my luck.

But then I spotted her, out on the beach. She was pretty far off but there was no mistaking the hair whipping around her head and that Sidle walk.

I made my way towards her. She had her back to me, her arms wrapped around her, protecting herself from the wind, or maybe something else.

"Hey you" I said smiling at her back as I reached her.

She spun around so fast, looking as shocked as I'd ever seen her

"J..Jim" she gasped "What the.. how.. why are you here?"

"To take you back Sar" I said gently "Back home to us"

She shook her head "I can't" "I... I need to be here, Jim"

"But why?" I said "All alone here on your own on some beach, you've got a life back in Vegas, a family... a fiancee"

Sara sniffed a little before slowly sitting down, drawing her knees up to her chest, and resting her chin on them. I guess that was my signal to join her, so I sat down heavily on the sand.

"Jim, there's so many things I could tell you, but... I'm not ready for that... But this beach wer'e sat on now... It isn't just some beach. This was where I used to escape to when I was a kid... When things got too much at home, I would come here, lay on the sand and look at the stars. It was safe here.. I.. It was my favourite place in the whole world... it still is."

I could see her jaw tightening, this was hard for her.

"I miss you all so much. I can't even begin to say how much I miss Gil. But, but I can't go back, I needed to come back here, back to the place that I always escaped to when things got too much... and, and I guess thats childish and pathetic and selfish, but maybe thats just me, Jim"

"Sara, you are none of those things" I sighed "I just can't understand how you can just up and leave us all, and never look back"

"I look back every day" she whispered "I look back, and I remember, and I wonder" "But I can't do that all my life, living in the past, it's killing me"

She stood up again looking out at the ocean,

"For whatever reasons you came out here Jim, thank you, I really wish I had said goodbye before I left. Because... you always had my back, and I love you for that, I really do"

Her voice broke on those last words, and I admit that I had to swallow down my tears.

"But, this is my life for now Jim, here and now, dealing with what was, so I can cope with what will be.

She started to walk away, I never expected all this, I never expected to see her heart.

"But what if you never come back?" I shouted after her, desperate not to lose her again "What if something happens to you? What if we never see you again?"

She turned aound, a small smile on her lips,

"It's life Jim" she shouted back before turning around and walking in the opposite direction

"But not as we know it" I muttered under my breath, as I stood there watching her retreating form. Watching her back as I always had done.


End file.
